Day 5: The Australian In A Speedo

We begin to pregame at the house before heading out to the parade. I meet Pablo, Maggie's boyfriend, for the first time. He's a thirty year old Spanish engineer. Maggie introduces him to Kraft Mac and Cheese. He wasn't a fan....I don't blame him. I ask Pablo if he'd like to shot gun a beer with me and he warmly accepts my invitation. Surprisingly he already knew how to shotgun and then kicked my ass doing it.

We leave the house and head for Chueca on the Metro. We're also joined by Kristin and Maggie's new roommate, that moved in two days ago. Her name is Clementine. An eighteen year old French girl thats interning with Absolute vodka for the month.

We get to Chueca and its awesome chaos everywhere. I've never seen so many people in my life. It's not just the city in attendance, but people from all over the world! Maggie and Kristin both requested that I be Australian for this evening, so of courseI agree. WE hop into a little convenient store to buy some coke, sangria and vodka. After, we pick a spot to stand, in the ocean of faces, and begin to pour our drinks.

I'm looking up at all the people in their apartment balconies and windows partying and drinking and dancing. My sight eventually reaches the balcony nearest to us and low and behold I already have an audience. First it was waves and smiles which then turned into them inviting me up. One of them comes down into the streets to invite me up to the apartment party. I don't want to be rude so I accept the invite and go up to the party. But not before turning to everyone I was with and saying "If you leave this spot I will destroy you all!" Well...maybe not exactly in those words, but they got the point. I go up to the apartment and theres a whole sailor themed party going on. All kinds of different foods and free flowing alcohol. (I stuck to my drink in hand)

The apartment was very nice and the balcony wrapped around a majority of it. I met the owners and a bunch of other people, but I don't remember any of their names. I go to the balcony to look down and wave to Kristin and everyone else. All of a sudden I turn around to bump into a friend of mine. Here I am in Madrid, Spain at this huge celebration, where I randomly get invited up to these really rich peoples apartment, where I'm pretending to be Australian, introducing myself as B.J. (Kristin and Maggie's doing) and the person I run into is from Sydney, Australia, who I met in Fort Lauderdale, knows I'm not Australian, knows my name and knows that I'm from Dallas, Texas. It was just all to comically ironic! I played if off really well though, so I wouldn't blow my cover. It was still so crazy to me how I can be nearly half way across the world and run into someone I know. But then again apart of me isn't that surprised because of how often it happens to me.

It begins to get uncomfortable there when the man who came down to the streets to get me is wanting to take me to a bathroom or some shit. I don't speak Spanish so all I can say is "MI PRIMA, MI PRIMA, MI PRIMA!" Pointing down to the crowd, "NO SEXO, NO SEXO!" Quickly apologizing, I dart to the elevators.

I return to the group in midst of the Parade. Bus after bus passes with tons of people on them. Each one representing a different sponsor of the celebration. The alcohol continues to flow and flow amongst the five of us. Night falls and we're all three sheets to the wind. I started off the parade in cut off jean shorts and a tank and by this time I'm down to the speedo I purchased the day before. Out of no where, Clementine lays one on me and doesn't hold back. (come to find out it was only Clementine's second time to drink....what an influence us American's are!)

The parade came to an end (but not the party) and the crowds start to break up. I then loose the group and am now standing in the middle of Chueca Madrid, drunk, in a speedo with thirty Euros in my crotch, a vodka coke in my hand in the middle of one of Spain's largest celebrations. A minor panic sets in after standing there for a few minutes searching the crowds for the familiar faces I came with. I quickly make my way back up to the apartment I was invited up to, to use their balcony as a vantage point. I scan the crowd and find Kristin and Clementine. They see me on the balcony and I gesture to them not to move.

Finally the group regathers and we start to walk around, drink more and continue on with all the celebrations. I don't know where the hell we are, but then again I never know where the hell I am here. While wondering around we bump into a group of Irish guys. We're all conversing with one another. Pablo gets a fast one pulled on him by one of them and Kristin gets voluntarily taken advantage of by another.

We get to the metro to head back home before it closes. On the subway Pablo pulls a scary one and passes out for a split second. What was scary about it was his head fell back along with his eyes rolling in the back of his head. He awakes not knowing what happened and we get to our stop. This evening was completely eventful, crazy, wild and a lot of fun!